Friday, July 10, 2009

M-O-M, a three letter word for WORRY!

I am sure that all parents feel protective over their chidren, well most anyway. Being a mother of a special needs daughter has given me a very different perspective on life, in general. Before she arrived, I never thought about carseat safety, electrical outlets being uncovered, toys with small parts or taking a shower in my own sweet time! Now that life is so different, I worry about every little thing on the earth. Car accidents, leaving her alone with ANYONE, blisters from AFO's, her weight (is she keeping up?), her developmental progress, doctor appt's, is she having a seizure, why isn't she sleeping and a whole host of other CRAZY worries. Most mothers in my position can appreciate some of these unfounded, irrational worries that can take over your life. I have had people tell me that I need to get away, just go out and enjoy myself! I just want to laugh at them! How am I supposed to go out and enjoy myself when my daughter could have a seizure or get hurt or someone could forget her meds or something worse happen and I wasn't there? Parents or people in general don't understand those fears. You get to the point where it seems like you are holding this little life in your hands and if you take your eyes off for one second something bad is GOING to happen! Then it is going to be your fault and you will have to live with the guilt FOREVER! I know that I am being irrational, probably a little crazy, but how do you deal with all the responsibility? I love my daughter so much and she is such a gift, how can I just drop that, even for a night out? I haven't worked it out in my own mind, yet. Don't know, maybe I never will. She is my daughter, after all.


Anonymous said...

Just checking if comments were working