Defining Ourselves

How do you define yourself?

Tough question?

When I was young and carefree, I defined myself as an animal rights activist, nature freak!

I was a vegetarian, volunteered to smuggle animals out of the shelter whose times were up, moved dead animals out of the road, etc. etc. etc.!

When I got married and started a career, I defined myself as a working woman bent on trampling over the confines put up by men. I worked harder, came in earlier and generally overshadowed all my male (and female) counterparts.

Now, as seasons have come and gone, I find myself defined by much different standards than the world is used to.

I am defined as a mother, not just a mother, but a mother of a SPECIAL child.

This would be my definition!

I know alot of other moms in our boats don't define themselves as any different than other moms..... But I do.

I DO BECAUSE I AM!

I have seen my child on death's door (more than once)

I have requested sugeries that we knew would be painful but nessessary

I have wept bitterly that my child cannot say M-O-M

I have changed diapers for five years on a child who should be off to kindergarden

I have dosed up more ml.'s of antiepileptic meds than anyone should ever have to

I have cleaned up vommit so many times, it's like a perfume on me now

I have had meltdowns in the pharmacy drivethru b/c her seizure meds were wrong again!

I have snapped at little kids, who ask what's wrong with her

I have broken the rule about not letting your kids sleep in your bed

I have become SUPER _ _ _ _ _(you fill in the blanks) to protect her

A prowling, stalking, ferocious LIONESS!

I have even worried about how many days she has on this earth!

I have fretted and worried and prayed and cried..

I have been CHANGED by this mighty wave.

I am MOM but I am MOM to a SPECIAL GIFT that not everyone has been blessed with!

Sometimes it feels like a curse or punishment but then I see her do something that most parents take for granted and I snicker to myself...

"Most parents don't even notice that stuff, and we get to party everday over the little things!"

AND I AM HER MOM!!!

I can live with that!