Thursday, September 24, 2009

Lucky me.......

As most of us with special needs children have probably thought in the past..."Why is my child like this...Why me...Why do I have to be punished....Why does everyone else get normal kids...Why do we struggle so much?"

I must admit that I have had these feelings, I have been hurt, jealous, insecure.... but as time has gone on I have learned to appreciate the nuances of having a special little girl. I have grown to appreciate how innocent she is at 5, how happy go lucky she is, how sweet she is and how unaffected she is by the rest of society. I love how she isn't embarrassed, she smiles freely, how she doesn't know that she seems different than other kids, she likes everyone (I certainly DON"T!) and she will wear whatever I put on her w/o complaint!

I recently have had some experiences with caring for my sister's children for days at a time, while a family crisis is unfolding. Both boys and under the age of 3. Now w/o saying too much, their home is unstable for kids. These children have been spending alot of time w/ us and I have been amazed at how Lucky I am.

These kids are chaotic, unhappy, unkept and overly emotional. After just a week, I am physically drained and exausted. Constant crying, screaming, begging and general bad behavior. It has thrown our quiet home into a tailspin. Every night, I find myself wishing that it was just the three of us, again. I have been feeling like a black cloud is hanging over our house, while this drama plays out and we just can't shake it.

Normally, we have a quiet home, except for Football games and nights when we play silly games with Faith and she/WE screams and acts silly. We do the same things every night, on the same schedule, watch the same tv programs and are very fulfilled by having this kind of lifestyle. We both operate best with repetition. LOL! (Yes, folks, I am a type A personality) So, I have been thanking GOD for this and being so thankful that we are so fortunate in this area of our lives.

It has made me think about how we approach trials and tribulations and how even though we have been through the wringer w/ medical problems, we are so affected by changes in our home life and how we just think "I can't do this one more day..." LOL! Give me my special girl, my hubby, our dogs and cats and a QUIET HOME.

Which brings me back to my title, LUCKY ME... well, I guess I should have called it...



Amy Genn said...

I hear ya! I count my blessings that way, too!

My son will never be the bad seed, the bully, or the annoying one in school! :)

He is so precious and happy and perfect to me.

He is asleep by 6:40 pm and my hubby and I have our evenings to ourselves and each other.

We live on a schedule and it works for us.

Hang in there. Just remember those boys probably need someone like you to love on them and give them some stability for a while :)


therextras said...

We often correct ourselves from 'lucky' to blessed - sometimes to make a point with someone who does not believe.


Christine said...

Thanks for this post. From one Mom of a few special needs kiddos to another. :)