Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Surgery preparedness....

As our surgery date draws near, I am constantly stiffling panic, fear, worry, irrational thoughts and more fears! This is going to be Faith's 5th surgery, her first four in her first 3+ yrs of life. So we have been fortunate that we have had 2 good yrs w/o any. Each surgery she has had, I suffer from severe anxiety and overprotectiveness. I have fought many an ugly battle with nurses, doctors, nurse managers and even heads of departments! I have repacked Faith's hospital bag twice in the last two days. I get worried about the most irrational things- nurses who want to dose all of her regular meds, techs who can't get veins, doctors performing surgery on the wrong body part... then the really crazy stuff.... leaving a medicine at home, forgetting a vital nessessity, our house burning down while we are gone, someone losing our dog at the kennel.

I just can't help myself. Of course, I worry about the big things! Something going wrong, her having a bad reaction to some medicine, a problem with her neurological status. I know that GOD tells us not to worry... but this is my struggle. I know it stems from our lack of control in all things Faith, but she is so precious.

My main way of dealing with this is overpreparing! I have 2 running lists going, right now. I have about half the things crossed off but I keep adding things to them! At least we are only an hour and a half away, this time. So if we need something bad enough, we can go back. The other thing I am anxious about is that only one parent can stay with Faith. So we are trying for the Ronald McDonald house but won't know until Friday afternoon. The reason I am worried about that is b/c with my diabetes, I often suffer with low blood sugar in the nights. Carl is always there to help me and get my sugar back up. So I will be there with her w/o Carl. I am going to try to keep my sugars up before bed. Better high than low those nights, I guess. We are so busy the rest of the week I am hoping that it will keep my mind off things, as much as possible.


Amy Genn said...

"Without faith it is impossible to please him."
Hebrews 11:6

Hang in there friend! You'll do just fine!

Put some snacks under your pillow so you can grab them quick! :)


Karen said...


Please know that I am praying for you and the Lord will bring you comfort and peace through all of this. I am also praying for Faith that the surgery will go well and that she will recover quickly!


Amber said...

Praying for peace and rest before this leg of your journey!

Beverly said...

so sorry! I will be praying that all goes well for Faith and that you can keep calm. thinking of you guys.