Wednesday, April 14, 2010

FIND J-O-Y....

A word that is a necessity in my life..

When Faith was first diagnosed with CP (and other junk) it was like a punch in the stomach that wouldn't stop. It felt like things would never get better like life had just stopped for our new family. A feeling in the pit of my stomach, every day that....was awful.

I hear a lot of parents with special kids who are younger struggle with the frustration, acceptance, change, disaster and heartache. I just want to reach out and tell each and every one of those parents that it will get better.

For me, time and faith have been big healers.
When you are in the throws of a diagnosis with a young baby or child it can seem like there is no joy left in life.

I have found that the best medicine for me, is daily J-O-Y. I have to find something each day to give me joy about Faith. Be that a toy that she can turn on or that she stands in her stander for an extra 10 minutes or she tries to say a new word. Some days it's watching her riding a horse, carefree and thrilled. Other days it's finding out that she was really watching me while I dusted the playroom and seeing her, with her own little rag that she found, dusting the floor! This child brings all kinds of joys, to me, every day, in silly things she does or just looking at pictures of her. I also believe that JOY is contagious and overflows into your child. If there was one thing I would want Faith to remember about me is that she saw me joyous, every day, at least once!

I urge each of you to try to find a small joy, each day, in your child and dwell on that. It has helped me immensely to heal and to get thru each day. Yesterday, I found joy in watching her climbing stair (up and down) with assistance at therapy, on land (for the first time). I also found joy in hearing her meet a goal in speech therapy...10 consonant sounds with minimal cueing! Tomorrow, give it a try and see if you feel a little better. I would love to hear about your experiences with finding joy in your child's life! Hopefully, we can spread some joy around to each other!


Jen said...

Thats lovely Candace. My son does something to amaze me every single day and then sometimes he does huge things that keep me grinning for weeks :D It is what gets me through, no doubt about it. I guess it's all about the way we look at it? Jen.

Territory Mom said...

So perfect!!!! We are just finishing our first year of homeschool. I haven't blogged about it yet, but I will one day. I never, never thought I would homeschool, now I think it is the greatest.

caryanne said...

I so agree with this post! When Ben was first diagnosed, I would cry and cry when he wasn't around...but when he got up from his nap or in the morning and I saw that smiling face, there was no way that I could keep crying. He just made me way too happy!

You've made me think of a song we used to sing at Sunday School when I was young...

"I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart,
down in my heart,
down in my heart.
I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy
down in my heart,
down in my heart to stay.

Keri said...

You hit the nail right on the head. Finding joy in the little things makes life so much more enjoyable that investing too much heartache in the big things. Ah, it can be complicated from day to day, but keeping the faith is key. Thanks for an awesome post!

So glad to hear the joy Faith brings you! She's a gem and I love learning of her accomplishments. Definitely something to smile about!

Jo said...

Well said, Candace! Faith sounds like a kid who can spread joy to everyone around her - especially if she's good at dusting floors! =) Part of Monkey's bedtime routine is for me to tell him one thing that he did during the day that made me really happy. No matter how bad of a day we had, we can always find something. Yesterday's was that he took a wrapper off of a forbidden candy all by himself using his left (affected) hand. If only I had slowed down enough to notice that every day brings at least one little ray of sunshine, those early days after Monkey's diagnosis would have been a whole lot easier.

The Henrys said...

I really needed to read this today! I have always had a hard time in looking at the positive and focusing on the negative. I am learning, with reminders from friends, that being positive is much more fun!

Lisa said...

Candace, you are awesome. Thanks for this post (and for the VERY encouraging comment you left on my blog). Even though Elijah will be three this summer, I find that I'm just now coming to terms with some of my emotions and grief. Thanks for reminding me to choose to be joyful. Because I do believe joy is a choice. (Picturing Faith dusting the floor makes me smile!)